void aleph

The clock began to ring.
He opened his eyes and he promised him self that the next day he would quiet from that awful job. Well, he said that every morning since almost three years. But that day, he was sure he would do it.

He stood up and leaded to the bathroom. The water started to flow. Maybe the next day he would leave that slavery enterprise.
The mirror always was seen as something vane, or even worst. It was a disgusting object of vanity, and in his case, incentive of underestimation.
But when he looked again, something happened. And about its nature he only could began to be aware of, some time later, when he could think about some particular subjects.
So many times it happened to us, we go walking for some street and we hear our name. When we turn our heads, there is nobody. Or even clearer and this has happened to me: I could see, with the corner of my eye, a black and dirty dog. When I look carefully, I realized it was only a plastic bag. But, something happened. Something basic. In the moment the visual confusion lasted, we really saw very vivid that black, fluffy and sad dog. God, I could draw it right now. A simple (and terrible) street dog. A great amount of details were seen on this impossible animal. How can it be viable that we live such a thing without been under the threat of a mind disease? At first, I’ve found some relieve when I noticed it is something very common. Some years later I was told about the physiological reason of this event.
This apparent lack of perception is a way our evolutionary path found to make us more efficient. Every thing we experience is analyzed and compared with the ones we already have in our memory to give it a meaning. It seems that is a human instinct to look for a relation to all what we perceive. And when we are witness of something without sense, the brain searches for one, the closest one. In the case of the bag is easy: the eye sent information a bit empty of meaning and the brain accomplished its part of the job, it gave it one.
It looks like a fact in this example, but there are people who say that it is also corresponded to other aspects of our activities. The language is one of them. How many times, a person says something and the other one understand something else? Of course, the speech is a bunch of grunts and whistles that hardly translate the humans thoughts. Surely, a lot of our potentiality is filter by our level of verbal expression. Some say that our thought is sun of our language capacity, that it would be impossible the development of one without the other. But this is another subject, another branch of the tree.
The disturbing and strange is what happened in this old and dirty little bathroom. Because, we know what occurred when the brain wants to interpret something blur, not defined; it gave it the most likely one. But this was different. In there something appeared and it couldn’t be mistaken with anything from his memory, because he or anybody else did experience it before. It came, unquestionably from a very different nature. Its substance couldn’t be seized by our five senses, but its presence was. And that was terrifying.
So when we hear a loud noise, our hearing can’t take other sounds or if a strong light is leaded to our eyes, there is not possible to see anything else. We are under a temporally blindness. Our eyes can’t take all that light.
In this case, something appeared in his bathroom. For a while, something that any other creature saw before came before him. His brain couldn’t identify it. It couldn’t neither change it with anything else, because it was impossible to confuse it.
His mind stood still, it could perceive something before him. He realized where he was and that time was flowing, but he wasn’t capable of moving or think. He was mind dazzled. Anything can be done and anything can be thought as while this kind of empty Aleph is present. Embrace it all and void it all too in the time the experience last.
About thirty seconds later, it disappeared. He stood there, without moving. There was any chance of understanding for what happened. He was trying, unsuccessfully, to find that answer that we have for everything.
He came back to the bed. Maybe the answer would come from his room ceiling, he thought as the hours flew foreseeable and boring.
At the afternoon he woke up and he found some meaning between the experience and his life. Some vacuums similarity. The day after, he went to the postal office to send his resignation.